I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just Sensitive
by HikuruTheNovist
Summary: Santana on a blind rampage, Rachel is a victim of it. How will these girls cope with this? Ship: Pezberry(Main) Rated M: Language, Sexual Themes, Violence. Warning: Outnumbered Assault, Rape, Lesbian Acts, Teen Sex. Title was based on Sensitivity by Alex Goot. I don't own Glee.
1. I'm A Shit Person, Aren't I?

Trouble was indeed stirring in Lima, Santana Lopez had just gotten embarrassed at Cheerios when someone exposed her secret, she didn't know who, but she was not going to be remorseful to the next person to give her a dirty look. Storming the halls of McKinley people were spreading apart in hopes that Santana wouldn't take notice, almost everyone kept to themselves, put emphasis on almost as Rachel grabbed Santana's arm in anger, pushing her around.

"Santana what the hell is your deal? S-Santana?" the look on the Latina's eyes put fear into Rachel, she grabbed a hold of the diva and took her into one of the girl's bathrooms, placing a trashcan in front of it to prevent people from walking in.

Rachel backed up in a corner, shaking lightly "S-Santana.. What are you going to do to me?"

Reasoning with Santana was the only thing that Rachel felt was right, sadly for her Santana was not in the mood for reasoning.

Santana stalked Rachel's movement carefully, as if she was a snake in the grass waiting to strike, once she was able to attack, she pinned Rachel against the wall with one knee in between the diva's legs, and both of Rachel's arms were pinned by one of Santana's. A soft whine is heard from Rachel as she was held against her will, Santana slid her hand up the diva's skirt making Rachel whimper at the touch. Deep breathing was heard from Rachel as Santana moved her fingers down Rachel's panties feeling a certain area of hers.

"Rachel you slut.. You're already turned on.." Santana said with a bit of laughter in her voice, further scaring Rachel, and further making her cry.

"S-S.. San.." weakly those words were uttered as Santana pushed her fingers inside Rachel, the diva cried out "No!" she tried to fight the thought that Santana was actually, well, fucking her against her own will.

After 15 minutes Santana was roughly fingering Rachel, making her weak on her legs, she wasn't enjoying the fact she was getting raped, and by Santana Lopez of all people.

"S-San.. Please stop.. P-Please... Ahh!" She pleaded for a few seconds before succumbing to an orgasm, Rachel was shaking a lot looking at Santana, eyes filled with tears as they stream down her face, seeing Rachel's face like this snapped the Latina out of it and looked at her hand placements.

"W-What the fuck.. Berry?" She let go of Rachel completely falling back in fear "W-What happened.. D-Did I.." Santana was confused as to what she did, but she didn't care for a split second and was concerned if Rachel was okay, she frantically crawled to the diva whimpering slightly at what she doesn't remember.

"A-Are you o-okay B-Berry.." she ran her hands through her hair, freaking out she got up and ran out of the bathroom tossing the trash can to the side in the process.

The next few days seemed like a blur for Rachel, coping with the fact she was attacked sexually by her arch nemesis, yet she thought it was adorable how worried Santana was for her safety, as much as Rachel wanted to deny it she actually liked the feeling of Santana fucking her, she just wishes it was under better circumstances.

"_Where the hell is Santana.. It's not like her to just disappear like this.." _She was curious as to where Santana was, she has yet to return to school since the attack, did attacking Rachel really affect the Latina this much?

Just when things couldn't get more awkward thus came Finn, he is currently dating Quinn but is good friends with Rachel.

"Hey uh, Rachel.. Do you know what happened to Santana?" he looked down at the diva whom froze at the sound of the name.

"N-No.. Why?" Rachel asked shivering slightly.

"Well Quinn was talking to her on the phone this morning and she sounded more hysterical than usual, briefly mentioning your name." Finn explained which caused Rachel to lean against a locker and sit down against it.

"Oh God.. Finn.. Promise me you will not freak out when you hear this.. But.. A few days ago, Santana.. If I can even call her that.. Sexually attacked me.." she weakly said as Finn in turn growled under his breath.

"I can't believe that! Did you not go to the cops?" he sat on his knees looking at Rachel with a noticeable amount of worry.

Rachel shook her head and sighed softly. "How can you go to the cops about someone who had no memory of doing what they did?"

Finn stood up shaking his head. "Knowing Santana, she knew what she did, and she isn't going to get away with this Rachel.. You're too fragile to just let this slide and you know that." he said before walking away.

Rachel just sat there sobbing against her knees. _"He's right.. I shouldn't let her get away with this.. But my dads taught me that the worst punishment is living with guilt.. Yet why do I feel guilty for __what SHE did__.."_

The next day Santana finally decided to show up at school, unfortunately for her, word got around about what she did to Rachel, Santana knew deep down that people would find out soon enough, a group of bigger girls surrounded the Latina, cracking their knuckles.

"Nice to know the queen bitch of Lima Heights is all fine and dandy, while poor, annoying Rachel Berry is coping with what you did to her." One girl said moving closer to Santana.

Normally Santana would shrug it off and walk away but she glared at the girl who approached her and sighed "Do your worst.."

The group decided to pick at Santana, one by one, Santana accepting each hit that was given to her, the bigger girls were not going easy on the Latina. Once they got her down they all stomped at her damaged body until she lost consciousness. "That will teach ya, let's go girls." they walked away leaving Santana lying on the ground.

The bell rang, Rachel was the last student to leave due to her practicing for Regionals, she was walking and almost tripped on Santana without realizing it was her at first glance.

"Hey watch were you're laying." she said with a bit of anger at first until she actually saw that it was Santana.

The Latina struggled to get up, coughing a bit of blood as she laughed a bit. "S-Sorry.. I got my ass kicked pretty badly.. I can't say I blame you for telling everyone.." Santana softly said before leaning against the wall of the school.

"I didn't tell EVERYONE, I only told Finn, and I know he wouldn't blab to everyone about something that happened to me specifically.." Rachel sat next to Santana sighing, she pulled out her phone and started to angrily text Finn _"Did you tell people about what Santana did to me? She is sitting next to me beaten bloody, as mad as I am about what she did, the last thing I want is harm on Santana."_

Santana was laughing quietly then looked over at Rachel, seeing her with a broken look on her face "I am a piece of shit.. Aren't I?" she asked giving Rachel a fake smile.

Rachel just stared at the beaten Latina, it made her feel more guilty for even mentioning what happened to Finn, she reached into her purse and pulled out a box of wet wipes and tissues placing them by Santana, she then carefully sat on Santana's lap and grabbed some tissues.

"You may have hurt me pretty bad but I can't help but feel sorry for what you went through.. Even if you.. Well.. Fucked me without my consent.. In a very scary manner might I add, you didn't hit me.. And you seemed worried about me even after what you did." Rachel said as she started to clean up Santana's face, checking her head for any scratches, once she finished cleaning up Santana's face she put band-aids on her forehead, neck, cheek, and nose.

Santana looked into Rachel's eyes and started to tear up, remembering how scared the diva looked after Santana did what she did. "W-Why are you helping me Berry.. What did I do to deserve it?" she quietly cried against Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel couldn't help but tear up as well because Santana was right, she didn't deserve the help, it was just in Rachel's good nature to be helpful, what made it worse for her was the fact that she liked the more concerned side of Santana, in a lot more ways than one.

"San.. I want to help you because I don't think you would have done this in general if you were just you.. What I saw in the bathroom that did this to me wasn't Santana Lopez, or Snix.. I saw the evil in your eyes.. I need to know what caused it.." Rachel explained as she got off of Santana, placing her things back inside of her purse.

Santana sniffled and watched Rachel stand up. "R-Rachel.. Can you help me up.. I can barely move." she asked looking up at the diva.

Rachel slightly smiled at Santana and helped her up "Me and you are gonna go to the doctors.. You need the medical attention, is that understood?" she demanded while taking Santana to her car.

They get to the doctors, it was rather empty for a hospital, but the girls didn't mind it much. Santana took various tests for her doctor while Rachel waited in the lobby for the results. She was worried about Santana now more than ever because for all she knows, Santana could have gotten severely punished over something her mind had little control over.

The doctor walked out and signaled Rachel to go in the room Santana was in, Rachel sat down on a chair and looked at the doctor. "So, what is wrong with her doc?" she asked.

"Rachel, prior to her recent injuries, she suffered some trauma that was also recent but not today recent, I'd say from 6-10 days ago she suffered some head injury which could have caused her to not acknowledge various events 4 days ago." he explained which worried Santana a fair amount.

"We don't think it will be anything severe but we will ask to see Santana every week for the next 6 months just in case, also Santana I would recommend that you see a therapist. I have a friend who has a P.H.D in psychology who could potentially help you, just say the word and I will shoot his number over to you." He further explained with a smile then turned to Rachel.

"As her friend, please keep an eye out for Santana, she seems like a very kind girl with all the nice things she has said about you." He told Rachel before sending the two girls out the room.

They walked back to Rachel's car, Santana was staring at the ground once they got to the car, she looked scared, Rachel was worried for her.

"_I have never seen Santana look THIS scared at all, she looks helpless, hopeless, lost, a bunch of variations of sad.. God I am going to regret doing this.."_ Rachel sighed walking over to Santana then hugged her once.

"Santana, you're going to stay over at my house tonight. After what I heard from the doctor I don't want you to be away from someone who could help you, also I kinda wanted to make a bit of an agreement with you." She explained as she pulled away giving Santana a serious look.

"Uh, yeah okay. What's the deal?" Santana tilted her head slightly.

"Because you did what you did, I feel that yes you getting jumped wasn't enough but also wasn't deserved, I am willing to forgive you for what you did but only on one condition.. You have to be my own personal slave. Meaning you do what I say, at any point in time, don't worry I won't make you do anything humiliating. But being me is hard enough, I don't have much time to do a lot of the things I need to get done." Rachel explained to Santana with a smile.

"So basically like an assistant that caters to your every will?" Santana asked, Rachel nodded then walked to her side of the car.

"EVERY will Santana.." Rachel put emphasis on her statement.

"_I am glad Rachel is willing to forgive me.. But am I willing to forgive myself? Also what does she mean by EVERY will? I guess being a Berry assistant can't be too bad.. Right?"_

* * *

**A/N:** I decided to take a different approach to this story, and make it bigger than usual. And to those who have an issue with my direction of Rachel forgiving Santana soon after the rape, it's called Fan FICTION, not Fan Realism. I know something like this wouldn't happen in real life or Glee, which is why I wanted to do this so much. So as always Review/Favorite/Follow.


	2. I Think I'm Paranoid

The girls made it to the Berry household after a half an hour, Santana looked a bit scared and for obvious reasons too. Santana looked over to Rachel with sad eyes.

"Does your dads know about.. What happened.." she softly asked, even more scared about what the answer would be.

Rachel smiled a bit then shook her head "No they don't, and I will keep it that way." Rachel gently checked Santana's head to make sure the bandages are still on her, then made Santana look at the diva. "You have some pretty eyes San, just wanted to point that out." she said before getting out of the car.

Santana's face lit up at the comment, it wasn't one she was expecting, especially from Rachel Berry of all people. She got out of the car following Rachel closely to the front door.

"San, there are a few things I do want you to do before you get too comfortable." Rachel said as the girls made their way to Rachel's room.

Santana nodded once "Like what?" she gently sat on Rachel's bed looking at all of the posters of various theater posters that were hung up.

"Well, you get to choose which of the 3 you want to do right now. You could help me with my solo for regionals, or you could model in some new clothes I got so that way I have a visual of how they would look on me, or you.. Well.." Rachel bit her lip and looked away blushing slightly.

Santana raised an eyebrow at Rachel "Or I what?" she asked curiously.

Rachel slowly looked at Santana "Give me a bath.." Rachel's face lit up more when she said that.

"G-Give you a bath? Why should I do that?" Santana asked trying to comprehend what Rachel had just suggested.

"Well Santana, I get so exhausted from glee club, I usually just stick to showers and rarely enjoy myself.. Since you are my assistant there wouldn't be as much work as I need to do.." she softly explained feeling embarrassed that she had just asked that, but before she could change her mind Santana interrupted her.

"Let's get the bath out of the way.. That way you can look all nice when we practice." Santana said with a blush upon her face.

Rachel's face got more red when Santana offered but slowly nodded and walked into her bathroom it get a bubble bath prepared.

Santana laid on the bed for a little bit, gazing at the ceiling humming very softly to herself, not loud enough to alert Rachel but not too quiet to not be noticed.

Rachel heard Santana's humming and smiled some _"It's weird how nice Santana is being to me right now.."_ she finished the bath, grabbed a couple towels then placed them on the counter. She started to strip down, her face feeling more warm as the clothes fell down, Rachel got into the tub, slowly sitting down in it and relaxing for a bit, she leaned against the tub noticing Santana. "San, you're needed now."

Santana got up and walked into the bathroom, seeing Rachel in the nude and in the tub made the Latina's face light up. "W-What you need, Berry?"

Rachel scooted up a bit. "I need you to bathe me, remember?" she bit her lip and smiled at Santana.

"Oh yeah, so how should I go about that?" Santana asked as she got up onto the counter.

"W-Well.. You are gonna have to join me to effectively wash me." Rachel gulped as she blushed even more than usual.

Santana slightly squeaked a bit then shook her head "I don't think that is a very good idea, m-maybe we should practice that solo instead.."

Rachel frowned a bit and gazed into Santana's eyes with her own sad eyes, almost as if Rachel was a lost puppy.

The Latina growled then sighed. "Fuck it, fine I will join you. On the condition that you stop with whatever the hell that is.." she said before stripping her clothes to join Rachel.

Santana got in the tub behind Rachel, her face is more lit up now that she is naked with Rachel and inside a bathtub of all things. She looked around for a little bit, loosing the feel of nervousness and started to relax leaning back against the tub.

"San, start with the hair please." Rachel looked back at the Latina.

Santana nodded and grabbed the cup that was sitting next to the tub, dunked it under water then poured it over Rachel's head, wetting her hair. She then squirted some shampoo in Rachel's hair and started to run her fingers through it gently.

Rachel was thinking about what song to perform, she had so many different songs in her arsenal, from Abba to Whitney Houston, she knew a lot of various songs, this was a mixture of a gift and a curse.

"Hey San.. If you were going to solo at regionals.. What would you perform?"

Santana blinked then thought about it for a few seconds. "Probably something from Jessie J, either Price Tag, or Nobody's Perfect." she said before getting more water in the cup. "Close your eyes."

Rachel closed her eyes as Santana poured water over Rachel's head, in a way rinsing the shampoo off of her hair. Santana then used the conditioner and did the same process that she did with the shampoo. _"__Jessie J huh? San, prepare your vocals, you're going to perform that tonight. Also your fingers are magic!"_ Rachel slightly rolled her eyes smirking at how Santana's fingers feel on her head.

It took a little while but Santana finished cleaning Rachel, the diva got out of the tub and looked at Santana with a bit of a smile "Thank you, that was actually very relaxing. Now I know who to call if I want a good bath." she winked then wrapped a towel around her chest, then the other around her head.

Santana unplugged the bathtub and got out feeling a bit more comfortable around her "Owner" especially since they were just bathing together practically. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her chest, then leaned over to get her clothes that she was wearing that day.

"We should have went by my house to get some clothes for me, because I am not changing back into those. They are thrashed as hell." Santana sighed as she placed the clothes on the bathroom counter.

"I actually have some clothes that could be your size, I know I have more body mass than you, not by a lot but yes I do have it and I don't let it phase me. So go to my closet and pick out anything you want, I will let you keep it too."

Santana smiled and walked into Rachel's closet to look through the clothes, Rachel joined Santana in picking clothes out, they found a bunch of goofy shirts that they tried on, but finally settled on pulling off a pink and black combination, Rachel wearing a pink shirt with black shorts, Santana with a black shirt and pink shorts.

Rachel jumped on her bed, laying on her stomach then pointed over to her karaoke machine "I have a bunch of different songs on it, take a pick and start singing my pet." she jokingly said which made Santana chuckle quietly.

The Latina ran through the songs before one stood out, she looked over at Rachel and smirked "Ready for me to rock your world in terms of vocals?" Santana asked with confidence and played the song.

* * *

_Santana:_

_You can look, but you can't touch  
I don't think I like you much  
Heaven knows what a girl can do  
Heaven knows what you've got to prove_

_I think I'm paranoid_  
_And complicated_  
_I think I'm paranoid_  
_Manipulate it_

_Rachel and Santana:_  
_Bend me, break me_  
_Anyway you need me_  
_All I want is you_  
_Bend me, break me_  
_Breaking down is easy_  
_All I want is you_

_Santana:  
I fall down just to give you a thrill  
Prop me up with another pill  
If I should fail, if I should fold  
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole_

_I think I'm paranoid_  
_Manipulate it_  
_I think I'm paranoid_  
_And complicated_

_Paranoid_  
_I think I'm paranoid_

_Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me_  
_Maim me, tame me, you can never change me_  
_Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me_  
_Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me_

_Bend me_  
_Break me_  
_Anyway you need me_  
_As long as I want you baby it's all right_

_Bend me_  
_Break me_  
_Any way you need me_  
_As long as I want you baby it's all right._

* * *

Rachel clapped her hands and cheered for Santana whom bowed in respect for the diva's applause.

"San, come here." Rachel sat up and patted a spot next to her, Santana got on the bed and looked over at Rachel.

"Yes, Berry?" she raised an eyebrow as she asked.

Rachel leaned towards Santana, giving her a kiss on the forehead and smiled at her "Good girl, I am very proud of you."

Santana couldn't help but giggle at what Rachel had said. _"Good girl huh? Rather kinky on your end there Berry. I am liking this though."_

Throughout the night the girls had a decent time singing, and watching random plays that Rachel used to be in when she was a little girl, it made them both forget about what had happen and just enjoy their time together, almost as if they were more than casual friends.

Rachel was the first to fall asleep, Santana was sitting on Rachel's bed continuing to watch all of her performances, smiling at how cute she thought Rachel was as a little girl, Santana looked down at Rachel and smiled a bit more, running her hand gently down Rachel's back. A knock was heard at the door, but Rachel was way too tired to move, Santana rolled her eyes and left the room to answer it.

"Santana? What the hell are you doing here?" Finn asked angrily, Santana didn't expect to see him on the other end.

"I am staying the night, Rachel made me stay the night here as part of our deal. What are you doing here?" Santana tilted her head giving Finn a glare.

"I'm here to check up on Rachel and try to explain to her that I had nothing to do with what happened to you. Even though you deserved it." he snapped back at the Latina.

Santana snickered then got closer to Finn. "You listen here Marshmallow Giant, I may have gotten my ass kicked but it doesn't change who I am. I am still the baddest chick out of Lima, and regardless of if you or anyone else likes it or not.. It won't change, me staying here doesn't phase me, because at least I feel accepted for once." the Latina gripped the taller teen's shirt angrily.

Finn smirked then shoved Santana off him making her fall against the stairs. "If you hurt her again.. I won't be responsible for what happens to you.." he walked away menacingly.

Santana shut the door and held her back whimpering quietly. "Fucking Finn.. The second I am cleared to work out without worrying of loosing it.. I am gonna loose it all over that pudgy face of yours." she softly said as she walked back up to Rachel's room, the diva was awake and looked worried.

"W-Who was that.. I heard a thud and I was scared that something happened." she asked sleepily.

Santana wanted to tell her the truth about everything, but she also respected the Finchel friendship enough to not ruin it, so she decided to lie. "It was just Brittany, she wanted to see if I was going to Cheerio's practice tomorrow.. I told her I would wait until my next appointment before I would go. Then she asked if I could still pull off a cartwheel, I did one but biffed it against the stairs." She explained with a smile on her face.

Rachel lifted up Santana's shirt partially looking around for a bruise, she found it on the Latina's back and decided to kiss it once. "Be more careful, I don't like seeing you hurt, now come to bed so you can rest up for school." Rachel demanded, Santana wasn't one to argue about it, so she crawled into Rachel's bed and wrapped herself in her own blanket.

"Good night, Berry.."

"Night night, San.."

Both girls gave in to their slumber and strangely were able to rest peacefully, Rachel holding on to Santana in a protective manner, Santana feeling warm but in a good way.

"_Thank you... Rachel.."_

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I wanted to take a different turn on this chapter, make Finn more involved within the stories I write that are pre-season 4. And no I don't hate Finn, I just always figured he was protective over Rachel, so he would fight anything and anyone that hurt her. Next chapter I promise, we will have a bit of HummelBerry friendship going on somewhere. Also, Santana will end up performing a Jessie J song in this fic. As always.. You should know what to do by now :3


	3. Nobody's Perfect

Over the course of 2 days, Santana and Rachel were the practical it friendship in McKinley, Rachel told people about Santana's issues, and told people that Santana was indeed getting help. People started to get used to Santana hanging out with Rachel which made the two happier as time went on.

Finn didn't seem to like it much, he kept glaring at Santana as if he was waiting for the Latina to slip up. Quinn didn't like that Finn was paying more attention to Santana than his own girlfriend, so Quinn got to the bottom of everything like she always tries to.

"San, I don't know what the hell you are doing but stay away from Finn, or else." she said with a hint of a growl.

Santana glared at Quinn for a couple seconds. "I don't know what is up the Jolly Green Giant's ass, and I don't care." Santana told the Cheerio captain whom shook her head in disbelief. "You shouldn't worry about me being near him, a couple nights ago he came by Rachel's house and shoved me against Berry's stair case. Saying that he wasn't going to be responsible for what happens to me if I hurt her again." She finished her explanation before turning away.

Quinn raised an eyebrow at Santana. "So you knew that Finn had those girls jump you?" she asked softly.

Santana turned back to Quinn with a bit of an evil look on her face. "Where is he Quinn.." her voice was low, and angered.

"He is planning on setting you up, using Rachel as an example.." Quinn's expression was blank when she said it "Football field.."

The Latina's eyes widened because she overheard Rachel talking about spending her lunch outside by the football field, she ran out towards the cafeteria, seeing Rachel leave the cafeteria with her lunch. "Fuck.." she uttered before running after Rachel, it took Santana a short amount of time to get to the bleachers and Rachel was sitting there watching Finn's team play a friendly game of Football against Puck's team.

Rachel was sitting peacefully enjoying her lunch, while watching her glee club mates play sports. Santana was eyeballing every corner of the field, she sat beside Rachel continuing to eyeball what she could.

"S-Santana, what are you doing here? We don't have the same lunch." Rachel asked but smiled at her.

Santana just kept her eyes on Finn, after what Quinn had told her, you can't really blame Santana for keeping tabs on Hudson. Santana started to hear some voices in her head that almost sounded real to her, she decided to ignore them for the longest time, it was becoming more hard for her as time went on. But then..

"Splash!" someone screamed as they threw a water balloon at Rachel and Santana, which had caused Finn to giggle a bit.

"I told you I'd get you back Rachel." He yelled with a bit of laughter.

Santana looked over at Rachel who looked like she was crying, at least in Santana's eyes, which enraged the Latina as she got up and stormed at Finn. "Hey! Flubber!" she yelled getting closer.

Finn turned to see Santana walk towards him. "You know, I am trying to get into Sh-" he was trying to talk before getting punched in the jaw by Santana.

"You can go ahead and threaten me about hurting Rachel, I don't do threats, not as fun." Santana snapped at Finn who held his jaw.

"Santana Lopez!" Rachel was standing up when she yelled it which caused Santana to run towards Rachel. "Bad girl!" Rachel further yelled before walking away.

Santana stood there dumbfounded as what she did wrong, she was hurt that Rachel was so mad at her for trying to protect her "Owner". _"Dear God I feel like a pet right now.. I don't see what I did wrong.."_

The remainder of that day Santana was pacing in her head about what could have set Rachel off, what could have caused her to yell at Santana whom didn't know what she did, was it because she punched Finn? Should she not have done that? Or was this Finn's plan to mess with the clueless Latina's head, she decided to go over to Finn's house to figure this out.

It took Santana 15 minutes to get to Finn's house from the school, it helps to know shortcuts around the small town. She knocked on the door pretty loudly, and Finn did answer just like she had hoped.

"What the hell is the matter with you Dough Boy? First you shove me then you have Rachel and I get pegged with water balloons. I want to know what the hell is your problem." Santana barked at Finn, clearly not in the mood to deal with much less than the truth.

Finn sighed and had a few tears. "Quinn was the one who called for the girls, I just told them where you were.. I didn't want Rachel to be hurt again, I didn't expect them to attack you honestly. I thought they would try to scare you for what you did." he explained as he left the front door to sit down on his porch.

Santana noticed the seriousness in Finn's eyes. _"He is telling the truth.. That's scary that I believe him, doesn't explain why he came to Rachel's place though."_ She sat beside him continuing to glare at the saddened quarterback.

"Why the hell did you come over to Rachel's house, and why did you threaten me?" Santana asked with no hesitation.

"Quinn told me you were staying at Rachel's.. She said she didn't like the sound of it so I had to check." Finn softly spoke.

Santana stood up and growled a bit under her breath. "Tell Quinn I said to fuck off.. I am Rachel's friend, or pet.. or something.."

Finn looked up at Santana's eyes seeing a bit of pain within them. "Do you love her, and do you want it to be more?"

She stood there kind of shocked that Finn was able to decode Santana's feelings before she even could. "I-I think I do.." were the only words she uttered before leaving the Hudson residence.

Santana walked back over to her house, she was not sure what to think after confessing to Finn that she may be in love with Rachel, but to her bad luck, Quinn was standing in front of the Lopez's front door.

"I need to talk to you.." Quinn cryptically said.

"What the hell do you want Q? I know the truth.. Why did you do it.."

"I needed to stop you.. From hurting another soul, the same way you did to Rachel.. I saw it all, every detail.. I was in the bathroom stall watching closely at what you did.. You're a monster that should be sent away!" Quinn yelled out with few tears going down her face.

Santana shook her head and snickered quietly. "Is that what you're really mad about Quinn? Maybe you're more mad that it wasn't you that I fucked?" She said which made Quinn mildly blush, but she shook her head of that thought. "I remembered the details after Rachel explained them to me, what is scary is I didn't know how to live with myself. I hated myself Quinn, but the thing is.. It wasn't you that made me hate myself, it was Rachel Berry that made me realize what bad I did, and that I would literally do anything to redeem myself in her eyes." Tears started to stream down her face at the thought of her and Rachel being together.

"I.. I fucked up Quinn, and I don't appreciate you pointing it out the way you did.." Santana said as her voice started to crack.

Quinn was reluctant at first but she walked to Santana and gave her a tight hug. "I'm sorry San.. I would have never guessed.. That you care about Rachel.. I assumed that because you hurt her.. That you didn't.." she explained softly, getting a bit of a tighter grip on Santana.

The next morning, Santana woke up holding on to her pillow dry tears were on her face, she hasn't heard from Rachel since the day before and she was worried about her owner. Feeling such worry caused Santana to take the initiative to walk from her house to Rachel's, which wasn't very easy since Rachel's home was located in a much nicer part of Lima, a long walk was the real factor for the Latina.

Santana made it to Rachel's house, knocked on her door but no one came to the door. This raised curiosity within Santana, she walked towards Rachel's backyard and saw that her window was open.

"Hey! Berry!" shouted Santana, she waited for a few minutes but had received no response.

Santana growled in annoyance as she looked around for something to climb, she was determined to see Rachel. After 10 minutes of rummaging a stepping stool that was completely oversized, she started to climb up it slowly but surely, making it to Rachel's window.

Rachel was listening to music on her iPod, wearing gray sweat pants and a black t-shirt, just gazing at her ceiling.

Santana leaned in a bit to go inside but lost her footing, causing everything to fall below her, she gripped onto the window seal whimpering a lot.

"R-Rachel!" she screamed out, heart racing, praying that Rachel would hear her.

Rachel got up and looked out the window. "Weird.. I thought I heard my name.."

"Rachel for the love of god get help!" Santana once again screamed which caught Rachel's attention as she saw the Latina hanging from the window.

"Oh my god! Santana just hang on I will get something." Rachel said running around her room seeing if she may have had something to help as leverage. She grabbed one of her big shirts and twisted it enough to where it was sturdy, she went back to the window. "Grab the shirt as soon as I let go."

Rachel lowered it towards Santana, she let go of one end of the shirt which Santana gripped on it for her life, Rachel tried lifting Santana over but was struggling, Santana attempted to use her feet in hopes that she could make it in Rachel's room. Luckily for Santana it worked, she lunged over the window falling onto Rachel in the process.

Santana was shaking a lot moving away from Rachel in fear, tears falling down her face.

"San.. What was the big idea.. You could have died.." Rachel gently straddled Santana's lap holding on to her head.

Santana looked up at Rachel, her face lit up as she thought in her head _"Fuck it.."_ she wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist, giving her owner a full kiss. Rachel, oblivious to why Santana would kiss her, but at the same time she didn't object to kiss, to Santana's own surprise Rachel kissed back.

It took them a few minutes but they finally stopped kissing, Rachel was stroking Santana's hair. "You are a good girl Santana.. I am sorry for yelling at you yesterday.."

Santana's eyes were slightly watery but she smiled. "I have a song that I needed to perform for you.. Mind if I do?" she asked with her lip bitten.

Rachel nodded and got up to sit on her bed. Santana got up and walked over by Rachel's karaoke machine, and started to play "Nobody's Perfect" by Jessie J.

* * *

_Santana:_

_When I'm nervous I have this thing, yeah, I talk too much  
Sometimes I just can't shut the hell up  
It's like I need to tell someone, anyone who'll listen  
And that's where I seem to fuck up_

_Yeah, I forget about the consequences_  
_For a minute there I lose my senses_  
_And in the heat of the moment my mouth starts going_  
_The words start flowing, oh_

_But I never meant to hurt you_  
_I know it's time that I learned to_  
_Treat the people I love like I wanna be loved_  
_This is a lesson learned_

_I hate that I let you down_  
_And I feel so bad about it_  
_I guess karma comes back around_  
_'Cause now I'm the one that's hurting, yeah_

_And I hate that I made you think_  
_That the trust we had is broken_  
_Don't tell me you can't forgive me_  
_'Cause nobody's perfect_  
_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nobody's perfect, no_

_I'm not a saint, no, not at all, but what I did, it wasn't cool_  
_But I swear that I'll never do that again to you, oh_  
_I'm not a saint, no, not at all, but what I did, it wasn't cool_  
_But I swear that I'll never do that again to you, yeah_

_I hate that I let you down_  
_And I feel so bad about it_  
_I guess karma comes back around_  
_'Cause now I'm the one that's hurting, yeah_

_And I hate that I made you think_  
_That the trust we had is broken_  
_So don't tell me you can't forgive me_  
_'Cause nobody's perfect, no_

_I hate that I let you down_  
_And I feel so bad about it_  
_I guess karma comes back around_  
_'Cause now I'm the one that's hurting, yeah_

_And I hate that I made you think_  
_That the trust we had is broken_  
_So tell me you can forgive me_  
_'Cause nobody's perfect, yeah, yeah, whoa_

_Don't tell me, don't tell_  
_Don't tell me you can't forgive me_  
_No, no, no, no_  
_'Cause nobody's perfect, no_

* * *

Rachel was shocked at the fact that Santana sang that specific song, it made her look down at the floor thinking about how she feels she treated Santana like crap. _"I never realized how much she really was hurting.."_

Santana walked over to Rachel, she gently bumped her forehead against Rachel's "Rachel.. Don't cry.." Santana gave her sad eyes.

Rachel smiled slightly. "You remind me so much like a kitten.. Almost cuter than a kitten." She said while pulling Santana over Rachel. "San.. Do you love me?"

Santana raised her eyebrow and smiled a bit. "Of course I love you Rachel, you're my friend, I care about you a lot."

Rachel shook her head and pulled Santana closer, their noses touching lightly. "Do you love me.. As more than a friend?"

The Latina gasped a bit and her face lit up, she looked over to the side gulping a bit. "I.. I.." she uttered out which made Rachel look worried.

* * *

**A/N:** Chapter 3, not bad right? Sorry if this isn't as good as what it could have been, also sorry for lack of HummelBerry, I wrote this while mourning over the death of a close friend of mine. I wrote this in his memory because he always saw me as a form of creative. Rest in Peace Matt 1987-2013. As always, Review/Follow/Favorite.


	4. Maybe We Can Turn It All Around

"_It's okay if you don't.. It was just that kiss.. What did it mean.."_

"_I don't know Rachel.. I do know that it's not right that I did that.."_

"_San.. Don't go.."_

"_Rachel I RAPED you.. How can you be so quick to forgive me after that?"_

"_Y-You think I forgave you? I hate you for doing that.. But at the same time I love you because of how much you seem to care.. Or at least I thought.."_

"_But how can you be so sure? For all you know I could be pretending just to get you to not be mad at me anymore!"_

…

"_R-Rachel?"_

…

"_Oh my god Rachel what are you doing! Let go of me!"_

Santana's eyes opened up, she was naked, Rachel was on top of her, dry tears were on the diva's face, Santana shivered at what had just happened to her, she indeed got what Rachel received. It started to make more sense to her the longer she stayed awake. Rachel was asleep, she looked peaceful, but broken that she stooped so low.

Santana gently moved her off, then sat up looking out the window, it looked late, she didn't want to stay with Rachel especially after that, but she knew Rachel deep down didn't mean it.

"What the fuck is the matter with me.." she softly asked as she put her underwear back on, she then looked back at Rachel and frowned. "I really fucked her up.."

Rachel slowly opened her eyes sniffling. "Oh god.. I.. I can't believe I did that to you.."

Santana smiled a slight bit then rested her hand on Rachel's. "No, you didn't do to me what I did to you.. I wanted that, hell I enjoyed it more than I expected."

Rachel wanted to believe that but it was hard for her. "Why aren't you as shaken up as I was..?"

"I am really shaken up, but I know that if that is what it takes to earn your forgiveness, I am willing to take any and all punishment." Santana spoke softly, looking down at the bed.

"How do I know you actually care.." Rachel asked looking up at Santana.

The Latina smirked a bit leaning closer to Rachel so she could whisper. "Because I didn't stop you.."

"Wait.. Wha?"

Santana snickered a bit as she sat back on the bed. "You're strong, but I could have regained dominance at any time."

Rachel's eyes widened up a bit. "W-Wow.. So you let me have my way with you?" she asked, Santana nodded slowly.

"Berry, I am tired.. Can we sleep now?" she yawned softly before laying her upper body down on Rachel's lap.

* * *

"Are you fucking serious Rachel?" Kurt asked with a huge amount of surprise when he heard what Rachel had said.

"Look, I think Santana needs me as more than a friend, she has improved a lot over the past few days." Rachel tried explaining to Kurt. "Is it wrong to reward good work?"

"That's like giving your priceless gems to a house thief." Kurt rolled his eyes as they walked over to a booth at the Lima Bean.

"I don't know Kurt, you saw the doctors reports, and have you seen Rachel this happy in recent memory?" Blaine sat beside Kurt, holding his hand.

Rachel frowned a bit. "Blaine.. I am honestly not happy right now. I don't know what I should do about Santana." Kurt and Blaine looked at Rachel's sad eyes. "If I make Santana my girlfriend.. People won't like it, but she is beautiful.. And if anyone can help her, it's me.."

"Rachel, I will support you.. But I have to be honest I don't like this.. So if you get hurt again, don't say I didn't warn you Hon."

Rachel smiled a bit then took a sip of her coffee but sets it down quickly, gulping it down. "Oh my god that is so hot." she whimpered slightly causing Blaine and Kurt to laugh.

"So Rachel, do you need any tips? On.. Well being gay?" Blaine asked smiling at the diva.

Rachel's face lit up and she shook her head as fast as she could. "I-I am not gay.. Just bi.."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "That is just an excuse for homosexuals to hold hands with the opposite gender to feel normal." he said which caused Blaine to lightly slap his arm.

"Kurt, if Rachel is bisexual, let her be bisexual. More power to you Miss Berry." He said as he lightly tapped his coffee cup against Rachel's.

"Thank you Blaine, it's nice to have both a strict gay, and a cool gay best friend." Rachel smiled and took another sip, finally able to enjoy her fresh cup of coffee.

* * *

Santana laying in her own bed humming a soft melody, to her surprise Quinn was at the door looking at Santana.

"Hey Q, did my mom let you in?" Santana asked, Quinn nodded then walked in to sit on Santana's bed.

"You know, Rachel has yet to shut up about you?" the blonde asked chuckling slightly.

Santana rolled her eyes and laughed as well, but it shortly died as Santana sat up looking down at her feet.

"Why didn't you try to stop me Q.. How come you let me do what I did.." The Latina frowned noticeably.

"I was scared.. I knew the Santana that attacked Rachel wasn't the REAL Santana."she sighed a bit before laying down.

"I really like her Quinn.. So much it hurts.." Santana softly said.

Quinn rubbed Santana's back slowly. "What are you going to do about it San?"

"I am not sure, I can't ask her to be with me because I fucked up.." her voice began to crack.

"But Rachel is willing to help you.." Quinn said in a caring tone.

"I know, but what is to stop me from doing this again Q.. Huh?" Tears started forming from Santana's face.

"Rachel is what's going to stop you, I have faith in her and you believe it or not.." Quinn explained partially.

Santana felt confused about what to do with Rachel, she was scared of hurting her again. Her head was pounding on the inside, causing her muscles to tense up uncontrollably, her body shaking a lot.

Quinn looked over at Santana with worry. "S-San?" Santana fell back shaking more, this time breathing heavily as if she was loosing air.

Quinn quickly ran to Mrs. Lopez to get some help, Mrs. Lopez called 911 explaining what was going on, Quinn was trying to calm Santana down. Santana shaking and hyperventilating, eyes rolling up while more tears went down her face.

* * *

A gasp is heard from Santana, she sat up holding on to her head, slightly looking around noticing that she is in a hospital. "W-What happened.." she asked softly.

"You suffered a stress induced panic attack." the doctor said sitting on his stool, then turned on the light box to show the x-rays of Santana's brain. "The green shows how healthy your brain is." he explained pointing towards the left scan.

"Well that one is good, when was that taken?" Santana asked.

"That was taken on your last appointment, the one on the right was your brain from a couple hours ago." He said then pointed at the scan on the right. "See the redness? That is the stress your brain has been taking as of late."

Santana's eyes opened wide at how much red was surrounding her brain. "O-Only one portion of it is green.." she softly said.

"We would like to recommend that you stay here for a few days but understand if you would be more comfortable going home."

Santana looked a bit scared as she looked over to the couch to see Rachel asleep against her mom's lap, and her mom asleep as well. It made the young Latina smile at the sight. "Can I get my mom, and Rachel to have 24 hour visits, I would be very comfortable with them around as often as possible." she turned her head to the doctor.

"Well I am not supposed to allow it for anyone except your mother, but I will make an exception. Because it seemed whenever Rachel held your hand, your brain waves settled. Is she a close friend?" The doctor asked with a smile.

"Yes.. A really close friend, if it wasn't for a screw up I did, she wouldn't have bothered with me. It brought us closer than ever." Santana softly explained then laid back against her bed.

The doctor got up and smiled a bit more at the three women in the room. "I will get the paperwork signed to give your mom and Rachel 24 hour visits. Just focus on getting some rest." he said as he turned off the light box and dimmed the lights before leaving the room.

"_At least I can rest easier.. right?"_ Santana thought to herself before falling asleep.

Morning hit, and 2 out of the three girls were awake, Mrs. Lopez got breakfast for Rachel and Santana, while Rachel was making something for Santana on her laptop. Mrs. Lopez noticed it and smiled a bit at the young diva.

"¿Qué estás haciendo Rachel?" she asked with a smirk, similar to how Santana's is. In her mind she figures that Rachel doesn't know much Spanish.

"I am making a playlist of songs for Santana to listen to in case she gets stuck here, and I have to go to school." Rachel said giving Mrs. Lopez the same smirk that she received. "I took Spanish class Mrs. Lopez, I took practically every class in McKinley that I could so I can be the best performer in the world." Rachel explained which further made Mrs. Lopez shocked.

"Santana was right about you Rachel, you really do try hard to be the best." she laughed a bit before grabbing the fast food bag. "You wanted.. Just two hashbrowns?" the older Latina asked, Rachel nodded slowly. "Why?" she asked.

"Because of 2 reasons; I am a vegan, which means I won't eat animals or anything from an animal. And also I am trying to watch my figure.." Rachel bit her lip feeling a bit depressed about what she had just admitted.

"_No hay necesidad de preocuparse por su figura de, Rachel_" Mrs. Lopez said while tasseling Rachel's hair. "You are a beautiful young lady, you are there for my daughter even after that night.. She needs someone like you in her life."

Rachel blushed at the older Lopez's comment, but couldn't help but admit how right she was. Santana does need Rachel, and Rachel started to feel as if she needed Santana. As a cliché from your typical romance movies, Santana was Yin; shady with a negative presence. Rachel was Yang; positive, with a shining presence. Neither stronger than the other, but also not weaker than another, Santana was the physically stronger one, but Rachel is the mentally stronger one. It all made sense to her, it solidified what Rachel truly wanted.

* * *

The remainder of the weekend Rachel and Santana spent in the hospital, talking about their plans for when the graduate, Rachel wanted to go out to New York and be a theater actress. Santana wanted to just be creative, she wanted to try expressing herself with acting, it was one of Santana's true passions in life. Santana even told Rachel about her movie collection filled with various classics such as The Breakfast Club, Back To The Future, Halloween, and Labyrinth to name a few. The girls were able to get out of the hospital Monday morning, the doctor prescribed Paroxetine for her panic issues, one when she wakes up, and one before she goes to bed.

Rachel stayed over at Santana's house for the sake of keeping her safe. "I am going to make sure you take these, every day. Like a _good girl_." she said as she winked at Santana once before entering the Latina's room.

Santana rolled her eyes then jumped onto her bed, hugging her pillow as tight as she could. "Oh god it feels good to hug my pillow!" she said in an exaggerated tone.

"Do you feel better my pet?" Rachel sat at the edge of the bed and ran her hand across Santana's back.

Santana uncontrollably purred at the touch of Rachel's hand. "I am starting to feel great.." she spoke softly, the more Rachel ran her hand against the back of Santana, the more she bit her lip.

"That's good.. M-Maybe I can help you feel beyond great." Rachel slowly straddled Santana's back, leaning in to kiss her back.

Santana moaned quietly and started to blush, feeling Rachel's soft hands against her bare back, it turned Santana on, how much Rachel was getting into wanting her. Santana wanted Rachel as well but couldn't take Rachel whom was offering herself, it felt wrong to Santana.

"R-Rachel.. Please stop.." Santana sighed, turning her body around to look up at Rachel.

Rachel frowned looking down at Santana. "San.. You're not being a good girl.." she said in a deep tone.

Santana shook her head and sat up facing Rachel, eye to eye. "I don't care anymore.. I can't have this kind of relationship with you. It's not fair to you, you're taking this WAY too lightly.." she said with a shaken voice.

"Y-You think I don't know this? I am generally happy Santana.. I never knew how to deal with this! I hate you for making me so damn confused San! I hate you even more for what you did! And I hate you for not accepting me when I am throwing myself at you!" Rachel got off of Santana and walked towards the door with tears going down her face.

Santana quickly got up to grab Rachel's hand but gets met with a hand swat to the cheek, the impact cracked loud, and made Santana feel like a truck hand just hit her.

"I know you want to earn my forgiveness.. But did you ever think a good place to start is by being with me?" was the last words Rachel said before leaving the Lopez household.

"_Did you ever think that I had contemplated on that thought..?"_

* * *

**A/N:** How is this for a conclusion? I decided to use a specific review that I had received to add a bit more drama to this story.

By the way, to that specific reviewer: If you can't follow it, then don't worry about it. It's fan FICTION, as I stated in chapter 1's A.N I don't make my stories based on how people would react generally in real life. I make it based on how the character from a show would react, so like it or not Pezberry will most likely be endgame for the story. Don't like? Don't read it then.

To those who left nice comments: I love you all and I hope you continue to follow this to the end, I honestly almost gave up on trying soon after I had gotten the said review. It's nice to have support of people who can understand the difference between FICTION and Reality.

As always... Well you know what to do


	5. You're More Than NYADA Good

"_Do you ever think that I want you too Rachel..?"_

"_It's not easy for me to admit the feelings.."_

"_Not when I fuck up prior to actually having the said feelings.."_

Over the course of a few weeks it seems like every time Santana and Rachel are in the same room something keeps them from making complete eye contact. People were noticing this too, but didn't want to ask questions to avoid the risk of stirring the pot so to speak.

At regionals New Directions performed a Katy Perry tribute which consisted of ET, Hot n Cold, and Part of Me. They won regionals thanks to Rachel's solo of Part of Me, Santana noticed how much she had improved. She wasn't the same typical annoying Jewish girl that Santana wanted to toss in a trash can, she had evolved into a beautiful woman.

After regionals it was quiet between the two, Rachel continued to take Santana to her appointments like she promised, Santana has yet to have a panic attack since that night with Quinn, it was good that she has improved mentally, but it wasn't enough for the young Latina. It barely scratched the surface of what made her happy.

Graduation slowly approaching, and the only thing on Santana's mind was Rachel, trying to redeem herself from her recent screw up. She knew she should have taken the diva, right then and there, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. It killed herself inside that she couldn't make Rachel happy, and like Santana typically does, she thought of a specific plan to not only make her affection towards Rachel publicly known, not only that but she wanted to make Rachel want her pet once again.

All Rachel had thought about was her plans to go to New York, although she still had her feelings for Santana, she wouldn't allow them to get in her way of getting to NYADA. The NYADA dean Carmen Tibideaux is scouting various high schools, only a handful of kids ever get into NYADA through her recommendation, so it's safe to say that getting in was important to Rachel.

* * *

Santana was laying in her bed thinking about her graduation speech in her head. She wanted to confess her feelings in the middle of the speech, Santana always had a thing for the dramatics, ironic since Rachel also had a thing for the dramatics. Sadly enough for Santana, she didn't know how long she had for her speech, part of her was scared, but the majority didn't care and wanted as much time as she could force people to take.

"I want your love, and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance." Santana's ringtone was playing, strangely enough it was Kurt.

"Hey doll face." Santana said while yawning.

"Have you seen Rachel recently?" Kurt asked sounding shocked.

Santana raised a brow. "N-No I haven't, why?"

Kurt gasped a bit. "She looks terrible, she's been wearing herself down. Ever since she heard about the NYADA dean coming to McKinley. Rachel has been running on a few hours of sleep per day." he explained to Santana.

"Holy shit.. When did you see her last?" Santana asked in a worried tone.

"About 10 minutes ago, she was on a jog, I think over by main street. Why?"

"Main.. Fuck that's by my house!" She exclaimed as she heard her door bell ring. "I gotta go.." Santana hung up.

Santana went to her door, opened it up and to her surprise it was a drained Rachel Berry leaning against the wall by the front door.

"H-Hey San.." she softly spoke, resting her own hand against her chest.

"Rachel, dear Jesus.. Let me help you in." Santana reached down to hold Rachel, but the diva slowly shook her head.

"D-Don't touch me.. Let me stay right here.." Rachel demanded, Santana refused to listen as she picked Rachel up and carried her inside.

Rachel was quietly babbling while lunged against Santana. She got placed on the couch as Santana gently sat beside her.

"What made you want to come over?" Santana asked.

Rachel looked at Santana, her skin pale, eyes red and heavy with severe dark circles. "I don't know.. I usually go this way on my jog and I was way.. WAY too out of it to continue, and I knew your house was close by.. Could you take me home?" she explained followed by a request.

Santana shook her head. "I can't take you home like this. Graduation is in a few days, your audition isn't until after graduation." she said before getting up to walk to the kitchen.

Rachel tried to growl at Santana but she couldn't pull it off because of how weak she was. "Fine.. Say, where are you going?"

The Latina looked back at her with a smile. "You rest, I am going to make you something my mom used to make me whenever I'd get worked up over a big event." she grabbed a pot then grabbed a rice cooker.

Rachel fell into a slumber, poor thing was working herself constantly just for her audition.

Santana was having a bit of a struggle getting the rice to cook right for some unknown reason. After 30 minutes she finally got the rice cooker to work right, everything is smooth sailing for Santana as she walked out of the kitchen to see a sleeping Rachel, she smiled at how the diva looked. Seeing her sleeping made Santana a bit tired herself, she decided to take this time to rest against the couch while the rice slow cooks.

An hour had passed, and Santana caught a scent of the rice, at first she thought it was nothing but as time went on it started to get worse. She opened her eyes wide and ran to the kitchen to see that the rice was burnt.

"Fuck!" she blurted out while unplugging the rice cooker. "_P__edazo de mierda!_" she further snapped at the rice cooker.

Rachel got startled awake by Santana's yelling, so she got up and ran to the frustrated Latina. "San, what the hell is goin- That smell.. What's burnt?" Rachel asked slowly walking to Santana.

Santana slightly frowned, turning her head away from Rachel's eyes, making a soft but short whine sound.

The next hour Rachel and Santana were sitting on the couch enjoying some takeout that Rachel decided to order. Santana had wrestling on the TV so she sat criss-cross on her couch and focused on the matches that were being shown.

"How can you watch that stuff, it's not real.." Rachel softly asked which earned a glare from Santana.

"It's about as real as stage acting, Berry.. Only difference is, I would bed Undertaker in an instance, despite being _lesbiana_. As for the guy on Rocky Horror, I would not." Santana slightly explained, making Rachel laugh in the process.

The two were enjoying the matches, Rachel flinching at some of the hits that the wrestlers were taking. She took it upon herself to turn it off right before Santana's eyes. Before Santana could say anything Rachel patted the middle cushion, then took Santana's bowl of food.

"I am going to feed you, so come here." Rachel demanded with a kind tone.

Santana listened to what Rachel wanted, sitting on her knees with a blush on her face.

"Meow for me." Rachel took a spoonful of food.

Santana blushed even more. _"Damn Rachel.. What kind of game are you playing here?"_ Santana bit her lip then gulped. "M-Meow.."

"D'aww!" Rachel gushed out before giving Santana a bite. "You're so cute!" the diva smiled as she gently stroked the side of Santana's head.

Santana looked at Rachel with a more calm blush. "So are you.."

Rachel quickly set the food down and shook her head. "No, I don't deserve any compliments.. I am not worth it.."

The Latina sighed "And why the hell aren't you worth it? Is it because you work your ass off to be the best? Or is it because everyone knows that out of everyone in this pathetic town, you have a chance to be something better?" Santana raised her body slightly moving closer to Rachel, giving her a mean yet caring look.

"No.. I am only Lima good.. Not NYADA good.." she said looking away from Santana.

A growl could be heard from Santana. "That's bullshit! You are already better than everyone in NYADA."

Rachel had a few tears in her eyes as she got a bit angered at Santana's yelling. "No! It's the truth, if I was good enough I would already be in NYADA or I would be somewhere already! I am just a Lima lo-" Rachel was trying to yell but got cut off by a deep kiss from Santana.

"_W-Why did you kiss me just now..?"_

"_Because I am tired of you doubting yourself Rachel!"_

…

"_If you are more than good enough to be around someone like me.. You will have Carmen.. Whatever her name is, begging you to join NYADA.."_

* * *

Santana was awaiting to make her speech, this was it, graduation. The moment she was waiting for, all her hard work, the hours she spent on the speech.

"Please welcome, Santana Lopez!"

Santana walked up to the podium, wearing a red graduation gown, looking at everyone at attendance. She was nervous but at the same time confident in her speech. She laid down her piece of paper that had the speech written down on it.

"W-Well.. I can't believe I am a high school graduate. It seems like yesterday Quinn, Brittany, and I were walking through these halls for the first time. A lot of ups, and even more downs I have dealt with, but with every screw up I have made, I made much more progress with myself as a woman. I thank Mr. Schuester and the glee club for helping me develop myself mentally, so I can learn what life really means with those who love you, and those you love."

People that were listening in slightly awed at Santana's speech thus far.

"One person I need to thank overall.. Is Rachel Berry, for never giving up on me.. Regardless of if I was a total.. Word I can't say during a school speech."

The crowd laughed a bit, which in turn made Santana laugh.

"..I love you all, and I hope that the next batch of graduates, and the next batch of glee kids are just as awesome, possibly more awesome than we were. Thank you." she finished her speech which made the attendants applaud. Santana walked down the stage to accept her high school diploma, then went back to her seat among the other students.

* * *

New Directions had their own little after graduation party at Breadstix, Kurt and Blaine were doing their impression of Sonny and Cher's I Got You Babe. Quinn and Finn were having their "100th date kiss" which kinda disgusted Santana, especially since she is sitting at the same table they are. Rachel walked in and looked around for an empty table, Santana saw this as an opportunity to leave her seat.

"Rachel, hey!" Santana called out, walking to Rachel with a smile on her face.

"Miss. Lopez, you look nice tonight. Shall we take our seat?" Rachel lead them to their own booth.

The rest of the New Directions were applauding Kurt and Blaine.

"Now, a special song to a special lady, from another special lady. Please help me welcome.. Santana Lopez!" Kurt called out Santana.

Santana smirked then grabbed Rachel's hand and took her to the stage. "I am going to need her with me to pull this song off perfectly." she spoke before an instrumental started playing.

Rachel gasped as to what song it was. "I love this song.."

* * *

_Santana:_

_Out of touch, out of reach yeah  
You could try to get closer to me  
I'm in luck, I'm in deep, yeah  
Hypnotized, I'm shakin' to my knees_

_Rachel:_

_I gotta know tonight  
If you're alone tonight  
Can't stop this feeling  
Can't stop this fire_

_Rachel and Santana:_

_Oh, I get hysterical, hysteria  
Oh can you feel it, do you believe it?  
It's such a magical mysteria  
When you get that feelin', better start believin'  
'Cos it's a miracle, oh say you will, ooh babe  
Hysteria when you're near_

_Santana:  
Out of me, into you yeah  
You could hide it's just a one way street  
Oh, I believe I'm in you, yeah  
Open wide, that's right, dream me off my feet  
Oh, believe in me_

_Rachel:_

_I gotta know tonight  
If you're alone tonight  
Can't stop this feeling  
Can't stop this fire_

_Rachel and Santana:_

_Oh, I get hysterical, hysteria  
Oh can you feel it, do you believe it?  
It's such a magical mysteria  
When you get that feelin', better start believin'  
'Cos it's a miracle, oh say you will, ooh babe  
Hysteria when you're near_

* * *

The girls smiled at everyone else who applauded them for their performance, Santana walked over to Rachel to whisper in her ear.

"If that isn't NYADA good.. Then NYADA isn't for you.. You're better than them.. I want to show you this tonight.."

Rachel's face lit up as Santana took the diva's hands and lead them out of Breadstix.

* * *

Santana, kissing at Rachel's neck. Rachel softly moaning out as the girls made it to Santana's room, Santana's blouse was the first thing to be removed in the midst of them making out. Rachel taking dominance as they get to the bed, the diva kissing down Santana's chest, savoring the feel of the soft tan skin against her lips.

Rachel moved down Santana's pants and panties to reveal that she was already getting excited from Rachel's touch. "San.. You're horny already.." the diva stated obviously, she lowered her head and started to brush her tongue against the slit, causing Santana to moan out.

"F-Fuck.."

Rachel giggled slightly and licked against it a few more times for pushing her tongue in. Santana gasped a bit at the feeling of Rachel's tongue, biting down on her lip she took every wave of pleasure pushing against her as Rachel swirled around the inside of Santana.

Santana gently gripped Rachel's hair, moaning some more and lightly bucking her hips against Rachel's tongue. Rachel noticed by the throbbing that Santana was close to having an orgasm which made her stop licking. She crawled up the bed, kissing Santana, shoving her tongue inside almost as if she craved Santana's tongue for an eternity.

It only took seconds for Santana to get Rachel completely naked, Santana wanted to quench her thirst for Rachel as soon as she could. The more experienced girl began to lick Rachel's bud, making her scream out.

"Holy shit!"

Rachel gripped the bed as she never felt so many waves, vibrations, so much emotions, she never actually experienced what Santana was doing. The diva's face was a bright red as Santana lowered her licking to Rachel's slit, the way Santana was moving her tongue inside Rachel, nearly similar to her kisses, yet so different in more ways than one.

As much as Rachel wanted to fight the urge, her area began to throb at a faster pace than Santana's did, this made the Latina chuckle as she crawled over to Rachel and began pushing her fingers inside. Rachel moaned out loud and returned the favor for Santana, both girls pushing their hips against each others fingers. Santana breathing against Rachel's neck, Rachel slightly rolling her eyes up, both girls feeling closer and closer to letting go.

"R-Rachel.."

"S-San.. Ahh!"

Rachel released herself, gasping for air, her face more red than before. She laid back breathing softly, running one hand through Santana's hair, the other hand tracing the bumps of the Latina's spine.

"Rachel.. I love you.." Santana confessed to her, gazing into the sparkly brown eyes of Rachel.

Rachel smiled at Santana. "I know you do, what else is new?" she asked as she leaned to kiss Santana's forehead.

Santana shook her head and kissed Rachel's lips, keeping the kiss going for as long as she could. Slowly parting away she looked back into Rachel's eyes.

"I am in love with you Rachel.. You are everything I need and want.. Without you, I would have probably been dead, or in a coma.. You saved me Rachel.." Santana further confessed, her face was now blushing because of the words that came out of her own mouth.

"I am in love with you too San.. We can work past what you did slowly... After all.. You ARE mine.. This time though... I can finally be yours as well." Rachel responded which made Santana smile.

The next morning, Santana was looking down at Rachel, she was asleep with her arms wrapped around Santana's lower body.

"Rachel.. Wake up.." she softly spoke while lightly running her nails against Rachel's back.

"N-No San.. I wanna stay in bed.." Rachel whimpered and rolled on to her side.

Santana leaned over to Rachel and gently licked her earlobe. "If you don't wake up.. How will we be able to kiss? I know you're wanting to.." Santana whispered into Rachel's ear which instantly woke her up.

"I'm up! Kiss now." Rachel jolted herself in a sitting position.

Santana giggled then wrapped her arms around Rachel's stomach. "One condition."

Rachel gasped a bit but nodded. "What's that condition?"

Santana leaned in closer. "Call me your girlfriend.." she gave Rachel some worried eyes.

Rachel leaned in just as close. "Santana Lopez.. You are my girlfriend. Now kiss me, I need a wake-me-up to start myself on the right foot today." She explained to Santana.

"I will give you more than a kiss for that wake-me-up.." Santana said before kissing Rachel, their tongues rubbing against each other, the girls not even focused on having more sex, they just wanted to kiss for as long as they could.

"_No matter what happens, you will always be Santana Lopez good. Okay?"_

"_O-Okay.. I love you so much Santana.."_

"_I love you too.."_

* * *

**A/N:** How was this for an end to a chapter? Before you ask "Chapter? I figured you were done with the story." No, quite the opposite. I have plans for this story, but I won't make it a priority on the list of fanfics I need to do. Maybe when I finish those, this will be a main priority. As always.. You all know what to do.


	6. I Now Know How They Feel

Once Santana and Rachel announced their relationship as official, questions started to brew as to if Santana would be fit to be a girlfriend. Rachel insisted that things would be fine, especially since Santana has yet to have an episode since her panic attack a month and a half prior. The girls were packing their bags as they were moving to New York for schooling, Rachel and Santana had a fair amount of money to live off of for a couple years, this was perfect for them, well almost perfect. Kurt and Blaine had decided to join them on their New York adventure.

"Ugh, I can't believe we have to shack it up with Klaine.. I really was hoping to get you completely alone." Santana pouted in frustration before zipping her last bag.

Rachel giggled as she put her stuff in the greyhound bus her dads rented for the ride to New York. "San, it will be you and I this summer while we are in New York, Kurt has to help his dad at the shop and Blaine still has to get paperwork done for transferring schools." Rachel explained with a smile on her face.

Santana brought the last of her bags to the bus and sighed. "Yeah I guess, I just wish it was more than the summer, but I should be happy with what time I get with you." She walked to Rachel, gave her a soft kiss then boarded the bus.

Rachel got on shortly after Santana did, she sat next to her girlfriend. "Whatcha doing?" She asked, watching Santana typing away on her laptop.

"Writing up a resume, figured I'd get this out of the way." The Latina explained softly.

"You're really determined on getting somewhere in New York just as I am, aren't you?" Rachel asked once more, she liked the idea of Santana working hard for her, in Rachel's eyes it showed dedication, a bit of integrity, and it aroused her slightly.

Santana looked over at Rachel with a smile on her face "I just want to be able to make you happy, if I get to see that cute smile on your face, then I would have done right." She explained while stroking Rachel's shoulder. "Besides, we can't rely on our parents to pay for us forever. I know we will be okay for the first couple years, but I don't want us to struggle out there."

Rachel rubbed her head on Santana's chest, yawning quietly "Let's watch a movie, you can pick but I wanna watch something with you. Take a break from your resume and let us cuddle to a good film." Rachel demanded. Fuck what Santana was doing, they wanted to cuddle.

* * *

The girls made it to their new apartment overnight, and it was obvious as to how exhausted they were. Santana, more than Rachel, Santana was awake the entire ride working on resumes for her then started one for Rachel.

"Don't worry about it Rachel I can handle this.." Santana spoke as Rachel left to sleep on their couch, the Latina sorted out their things. This was a new thing for Santana to take on, the New York life style. She was excited about being in New York, she's more excited about being with Rachel in the big city.

After a couple hours Santana finished moving everything into hers and Rachel's room, she was even more tired out now. Santana walked into the bathroom, ridding herself of clothes _"I am so fucking tired.. Rachel, you owe me a lot of lady loving when we are more energetic.."_

Santana turned on the shower and let the water run down her back, arching her back to the feel of water running down. Clearly tired from the move, and a bit irritated that Rachel didn't help her out at all. Santana was looking back at the past few months she endured, it was indeed a long journey for her, struggling with her mental issues, struggling with her affection towards Rachel, struggling.. Just struggling was Santana.

"_I wonder if she will be different.. Maybe it's me that is acting different.."_ Santana sighed then hit the wall as hard as she could. "Fuck!" she barked out which woke Rachel up.

"S-San? Are you okay?" Rachel said as she made her way to the bathroom, the diva blushed when she saw her girlfriend dripping wet in the shower.

Santana shook her head angrily "I am pissed off Rachel.. Help me better." she replied with a pouting tone of voice as she turned towards Rachel, keeping her upset posture.

Rachel slowly walked to the shower, tilting her head slightly as she thinks of something to help. "Do you want to make out?" Rachel asked as she walked towards the shower, slightly biting on her lower lip.

Santana shook her head, smiling at Rachel's suggestion "Normally I would take that chance, but I want to do things with you, outside of the confinement of apartments or rooms. After we get some shut eye, let's go out on a date, go shopping for our apartment.. What do you think?" Santana further suggested as she turned to clean herself.

"_Oh my god, yes Santana, good girl! I love our sex but it's amazing that you see us as more than sex.."_ Rachel's heart was warmed thanks to what Santana had suggested "Yes, I would love for us to go out. And I am pretty energetic right now, so how about I go run and get us breakfast, you can shower and rest for a bit, then around 10, we will go out?" the diva asked while fixing up her hair.

"Sounds great baby." Santana happily replied, continuing to wash her body.

A few hours had passed, Rachel had Starbucks coffee, a couple English Muffins, and a pink bag that said "Victoria's Secret" on it, almost as if she was expecting a bit of a _housewarming party_ later that day. She hid the bag under the sink then walked over to the bed in their room, keeping a close eye on a sleeping Santana, Rachel took this opportunity to crawl over Santana slowly, and seductively.

"This.. Is what you get.. For being so.." Rachel spoke before placing a soft kiss on Santana's lips "Damn.." another kiss was placed upon the sleeping Latina "Beautiful.." Rachel finished talking before pressing into a deep kiss.

Santana softly moaned in the kiss, slowly opening her eyes, a blush was seen on the Latina's face "W-Well that is a good morning for me Ms. Berry." she said while rubbing one hand against Rachel's cheek.

"Good, I wanted to give you a bit of something as a good kickoff to our future together. I wanted to start it off happy, and I will make sure it stays that way for a very long time, even in the afterlife." Rachel softly explained before kissing Santana once more "I got us breakfast and some coffee. Cinnamon roast, whipped cream with chocolate shavings right?" Rachel asked asked making sure she got the right coffee for Santana.

"You spoil me too much Rache, I love that about you." Santana said as she nodded once, getting off the bed Santana was only in her underwear, poor thing was too tired to look through more clothes to wear over her bra and panties "I kinda wish we had gotten a smaller apartment just for us two, then we could be alone as much as we want for more than a few months." Santana pointed out before walking to the kitchen counter to grab her coffee.

Rachel scoffed then walked to the kitchen with Santana, grabbing an English muffin and her own coffee "Don't think of it as 3 months, think of it as..about 90 days, it helps me thinking of the number of days over the number of weeks or months, regardless if it's the same." she explained before taking a sip of her coffee.

Santana just rolled her eyes as she walked back to their room to get clothes on _"90 days..3 months.. Well 90 days does seem longer, even if it's the same it's nice to think that... Dammit Rache you're too smart."_ she smirked a bit while putting on her black denim pants, blushing slightly at the tear in the knee of the pants as it reminded her of the first romantic kiss she and Rachel shared.

"Those were the same pants you wore, when you kissed me on your own accord for the first time.. That day I.." Rachel was trying to observe but looked away due to her realization "When I raped you in return.." a tear shed from the diva's eyes, mostly because she felt guilty for what she put Santana through without realizing it.

Santana smiled then put on one of Rachel's shirts, it was one of her "Grandma" shirts as Santana loved calling them "Rachel, I told you that I enjoyed it a lot, it turned me on more than it should." she spoke before placing a soft kiss on Rachel's lips. "Now come on, let's get going.."

* * *

The girls went to a local Ikea store to look at various designs for their room, they had agreed on the idea of Kurt taking over every room except theirs, and you know what they say.. "Hell hath no fury like Kurt Hummel's complaints." At least that's what Santana and Rachel had thought.

They picked a few different rugs, two for their room, and one for their bathroom. Then they left to a music store to look for posters to hang on the walls, Santana found one of one of her favorite artists "Santana Lopez, I didn't know you were THAT into alternative rock." Rachel pointed out with a giggle, making Santana blush slightly.

"It's Tina's fault, she got me hooked on Florence and The Machine." Santana retorted while observing Rachel holding a record that had Barbra Streisand on it "We all have our guilty pleasures huh?" she smirked slightly.

Rachel smiled a bit "You're mine, you know that right?" the diva's face lit up due to what she had admitted to her girlfriend. Rachel moved up to Santana, biting her lip gently "You are very pleasing, to the eye, in bed, and in love." she further expressed to Santana.

"Someone is in a good mood, I don't remember the last time you were so affectionate towards me." Santana blushed slightly, moving closer to Rachel "In fact, I don't remember the last time I wanted to kiss you as much as I do now.."

Both girls faces inching closer, as they were about to kiss they get interrupted by the store manager "Girls, I'm afraid I am gonna have to ask you to not do that in my store. You can be friendly anywhere else, but I don't want my customers complaining about to college girls being curious in the middle of the store." he said in a sour tone of voice.

Santana's eyebrows raised, mouth hung out in a surprised manner. Rachel looked down, setting the book on the rack, then walked out of the store with tears going down her face. Santana watching her girlfriend cry aggravated the young Latina "Who the hell do you think you are?" her nose scrunched up in anger. As the manager was about to talk Santana placed her hand over his face, silencing him before he could answer "That was a rhetorical question ass-clown, it's okay to have posters of women spreading their legs, or half naked through out your entire store but it's not okay for me and my girlfriend, not friend who is a girl, not a curious experiment, my lover who has a vagina instead of a penis, lovely lady lips instead of a full on stache, to kiss each other on the lips, nothing too enticing for other people to look at?" Santana barked at the manager, lowering her hand with her fists clenched.

"Santana.. Don't worry about it, let's just go.." Rachel said walking back to Santana, grabbing her arm to pull her out of the store.

"No me gusta.." Santana uttered, eyes giving a sharp glare towards the manager "N-No me gusta.." she tried to go after the manager but Rachel overpowered the angered Latina.

The girls sat at a little diner for lunch, both getting a salad to eat, both really quiet since the incident at the music store. They spent their hour there eating, and looking at each other, Rachel was really shaken by the managers words, she was the first to leave the diner. Santana following her after paying for the meal, she caught up to Rachel, linking her arm around her girlfriends. More silence was exchanged as they made it to Central park, Rachel looking at her reflection in the water, further upset as a tear dripped from her eye.

"Rache.. Is this about what the D-bag said about us at the store?" Santana softly asked as she grabbed Rachel's hand, holding it ever so tightly.

Rachel slowly turned her head to a concerned Santana, sniffling a tiny bit while biting the inside of her bottom lip "N-No.. It's just, how insensitive the world is.. Two people who love each other should express it anywhere without being shunned for it. I now realize how hurt Kurt was, how hurt my dads were when they faced those who were ignorant to the reality that people can be attracted to each other, despite race, sexual preference, love is love.. But people don't see love when two lovers kiss each other.. Do they?" Rachel asked, more tears dripping down her face "I know as a society we are struggling, but would knocking down people's happiness down several pegs really help? Would it help our economy?" Rachel's mind was pacing of all the horrible things that kids said about her and her dads.

Santana shook her head as she placed a kiss on Rachel's cheek "Rachel, this isn't helping anything either, your dads and Kurt all were able to overcome the hate of being gay.. Hell I am able to overcome the hate, but seeing you cry like that hurts me more than any gay bashing one could do." she confessed to Rachel with a blush. "We were able to survive McKinley and the bum town of Lima, right? If we were able to do that, then there isn't anything we can't do." Santana turned Rachel to where her back was gently against the bridge hand rail, gently running her hand in the diva's hair.

Rachel blushed and smiled slightly "You make a compelling argument Ms. Lopez, I'm sorry for worrying you so much.." Rachel spoke as her face inched closer to Santana's. "I am happy you care so much for me, that you love me enough to stand up for me the way you did.. You are definitely a different Santana Lopez than before. You changed for the better, and you are all mine." Rachel happily said, embracing the warmth of Santana.

Santana gently lifted Rachel up to where she was sitting on the hand rail "Yes, all yours.. You realize that if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have changed for the better. And my god, you look perfect right now." Santana said while tilting her head gently to kiss Rachel but Rachel stopped Santana. "Why are you lip blocking me babe?"  
Rachel got off the hand rail, holding on to Santana's hand looking back at her with a seductive smirk "Because, there is a bit of a renovation that needs to be done at the apartment.. Let's say, I have yet to give you a housewarming gift.." she softly spoke with a giggle.

Santana's face lit up when Rachel mentioned what she did, no argument was heard from the Latina as the girls made their way back to their apartment.

"_Oh god Rachel.. When did you learn that trick?"_

"_I.. To be honest I studied your tongue movements.."_

"_Well I'll be damned.."_

"_I love you Santana.."_

"_I love you too Rache.."_

* * *

**A/N:** Gah! Finally I finished this chapter! I have been busy with school and work that I haven't had much of a chance to really work on this story, plus I ended up starting on like 3 more fics outside of this. So as always, you know what to do you beautiful people.


	7. Only Time Will Tell

Halloween was here, various assortments of Rachel and Santana's friends from NYADA and Lima were able to make it to the Halloween party, Rachel was dressed up as Poison Ivy, while Santana was dressed as Catwoman. People complimented the couple at different times, mostly Rachel for her take on the costume, not many people paid much attention to Santana and her costume, she was kind of invisible to everyone except Kurt, and Quinn.

"Hey Q, why isn't Frankenteen here?" Santana asked while taking a sip of her drink.

Quinn rolled her eyes at Santana's comment "He is taking care of Beth for the weekend, Shelby had a meeting to go to and Finn didn't want to let Beth be watched by a stranger. He cares about my daughter even though it's not his.." she blushed and looked off to the side.

Santana couldn't help but smile at the thought "Finn is a great guy, regardless of if his man boobs can be mistaken for Mount Everest." she said with a giggle in her voice.

Quinn rolled her eyes then walked away. Santana sat on the couch watching everyone party it up, but she felt lonely, no one was saying hi to her at all.

"Hey Satan, dance with me." Kurt said playfully, holding his hand out while lightly shaking his hips.

Santana looked up and smiled at Kurt for a few seconds then shook her head "No thanks.. I will just sit here." she spoke softly which brought concern to Kurt.

"Rachel loves you too much to cheat on you." Kurt sat by Santana, holding her hand gently "I have faith in your guys' relationship."

Santana smiled slightly, feeling a bit assured by his words "I have had nightmares lately, each one more realistic than the last. That I am loosing Rachel, that she only wanted to be with me to keep me happy, but not her.."

Kurt gasped a bit then kissed Santana's cheek "Rachel isn't like that.. I mean she would probably sell a friend or two under the bus to get famous, but she is an honest person.."

Santana shook her head "She made out with Puck when she was with Finn, didn't tell him soon after.. I don't want to end up being cheated on." she sighed again then stood up, leaving the apartment.

"S-San, let me come with you.." Kurt ran out with Santana, keeping her close "I don't want you to get hurt."

After a few hours Santana and Kurt slowly made it back to the apartment, most of it was empty, the only people there was Quinn, Rachel, and Rachel's friend. Quinn was the only one in the room.

"Thank god Kurt, go in there and tell Rachel that she and Santana are making too much noise in there." Quinn demanded while holding her own head, little to Quinn's comprehension Santana was right behind Kurt.

"Uh, Quinn.. Santana is right behind me.." He said in a low tone of a voice, Santana slowly creeped out from behind, eyes looking surprised.

"W-What do you mean Q.." Santana asked with a scared tone of voice, she started to walk to her room, unlocking the door slowly, opening it to reveal that Rachel was having sex with someone else. "R-Rache...?" She asked, her voice shaken by what she is seeing.

"S-San.. Oh my god.." Rachel pushed the guy off of her, covering herself feeling a vast amount regret for what she had did. "I-I, San.. I'm so-"

Santana put her hand up to silence the diva "Is.. Is this your way of getting back at me for what I did.." she softly asked, holding back any tears that would normally form. "Or are you not happy with being with me.."

Rachel kept a blanket around her, sitting up "N-No.. I am more than happy with you San, I don't know what got over me.. Please don't leave.." Rachel pleaded, tears beginning to form from her eyes.

"I can't honestly believe you.. It's over Rache.." Santana spoke softly as she left the apartment, tears rushing down her face. _"To think I believed she loved me.. Is this lady Karma getting back at me..? I am not sure anymore.. I need to get out of New York though.."_

Kurt walked out of the apartment, seeing Santana sit against the hallway wall, he sat across from her, gently nudging his foot against hers. "Hey.. Are you okay?"

Santana shook her head, sniffling a bit "A-Am I.. D-Do I deserve this.. Am I too much of a monster?" she asked while biting her lower lip in hopes to hold back any more tears.

Kurt scooted over by her feeling a tad worried about the Latina, he held her close to him while rubbing her shoulder. "Honestly, at first I pegged your guys' relationship as a toxic one.. But the more I saw you two get so close.. I almost forgot about what you did and fell in love with the idea of what you two represent.. That love knows no bounds, and can overcome the hardest of obstacles.." Kurt admitted as he parted some hair behind her ear.

"Kurt.. You're sweet as always.. But if this happened to me and I am only in my 5th month in New York.. It's a sign that I shouldn't be here." Santana leaned against Kurt, softly sobbing into his shirt.

* * *

A couple weeks has passed since the events of Halloween, Santana is currently living alone, working at Burt's auto shop.. Typical lesbian life that Santana is living right? Santana was changing a tire on a car that was sent in, so far has been living her life as if nothing happened, has been off her medication to keep her level, but has kept an active work ethic. The shop was empty, no one was in there except for Santana, and..

"San.." a voice spoke from behind Santana, a familiar voice, a soft voice.. It was Rachel.

Santana dropped her tools, sighing deeply as she turned to see Rachel's broken looking face. "What do you want? Looking for a way to get me fired too?" she asked with deep hints of sarcasm.

Rachel sniffled a bit, then shook her head "I just wanted to talk.. I am sorry about what I did.." she said before walking towards Santana, keeping a slow pace with each pace "You know.. I forgave you after you raped me.." Rachel slightly crossed her arms.

Santana slammed her hands against her workbench "You took it upon yourself to change me Rachel, I didn't ask for your forgiveness.. So don't give me that crap!" She walked over to Rachel with a blank look in her eyes.

"S-San.. Rape me again.. I deserve it.." Rachel pleaded with a broken voice, she dropped her purse along with part of her shirt, revealing her bra. "Take every hint of vengeance you want.. I just want us to work again.." Tears formed from Rachel's eyes, sniffling a fair amount.

Santana took little to no time to pin Rachel against the wall, keeping her arms pinned down, Santana slowly running one hand down towards Rachel's chest, then looked into Rachel's eyes and shook her head slowly "No.. Get out of my shop Rachel.." the Latina demanded before letting go of Rachel then turned away to the car she was working on prior to Rachel's visit.

Rachel fixed herself up then walked over to Santana, giving her one hug before heading towards the door "I'm really sorry Santana.. You really are too good for me.." was the last words Rachel uttered before leaving the shop.

Santana's eyes holding back as much tears as she could, luckily for her Burt came back with some late night snacks for him and Santana, he saw the young Lopez's lips quivering a lot.  
"Hey San, you okay?" Burt asked as he placed the bag down on Santana's workbench.

Santana shook her head, holding back more tears "I'm not okay.. I'm really not okay... I just.. I can't.. Rachel came back.." Santana struggling to explain what had happened.

Burt gently hugged Santana, rocking them back and forth gently "San, I need to ask this.. What caused you to attack Rachel that day?" he softly asked before letting Santana go to grab her soda, then handed her the soda.

Santana gulped a bit, sitting down across from Burt "Well.. It happened when I was at Cheerio's practice.."

* * *

"_Coach Sylvester, forgive me for asking but.. Are you insane?" Santana barked at Sue._

_Sue was wanting to revive her cannon idea but add more danger to it, with flamethrowers, sharks, and what is worse is that she wanted to use Brittany once again as a test subject._

"_Look sandbags I don't care if you have a problem with it, this is going to happen. I am not going to let you and your fellow glee clubbers ruin another chance at getting a championship!" Sue returned the bark at Santana getting close to her face, snarling at the younger girl._

"_You don't care that Britt could die!? Do you ever think about the kids you teach?" Santana frantically yelled at Sue, worried for Brittany she ran to the cannon to turn it off._

_Sue, angry at Santana shoved her away from the cannon "Get out of my gym, right now!" she yelled as she slammed her hand accidentally on the button that started the cannon._

_It aimed over at the wall, which Sue did not have prepared, Sue trying to turn it off but having no luck as it was already about to shoot. Soon enough it shot Brittany out, screams were heard from the clueless blonde as she was looking death in the eye. Santana ran after Brittany, blocking her from the wall as she crashed into Santana, the Latina fell back cracking her head against the wall. Brittany crying against Santana's shoulder, repeating her thank you's towards her._

_Santana looked up at Coach Sue who had a scared look on her face, almost as if she knew she would have killed Brittany if it wasn't for Santana "I-Is Brittany okay Santana?" she softly asked in fear._

_Santana's eyes were blank as she set Brittany aside, standing up and stormed after her coach "You.. are a FUCKING monster Sue! You could have killed Brittany, and for what!? A stupid championship!? Who the hell are you to put someone as innocent as Britt through all of that!?" Santana had tears running down her eyes, her fists clenching wanting to hit her coach._

"_Santana Lopez.. I want you to leave.. I don't tolerate that kind of language on my team.." Sue kept a calm posture as she demanded that Santana leaves._

_Santana breathing heavily, eyes a bloodshot red from her tears "Fuck.. You.." she stormed away angrily._

* * *

"And that's all that happened prior to the attack.." Santana sighed as she took a sip of her soda, feeling more guilty about what she did than before.

Burt was eating his salad, thinking about how Santana must be feeling "So.. Sue, was the reason you went on the attack. She risks your friends life and you loose control of your sanity.. Is that correct?" Burt asked in a tone that wasn't alarming but not very happy.

Santana slowly nodded as she wiped her eyes, ridding herself from tears "Ever since I have felt so shitty being around Rachel.. Because she is a perfect girl and I am.. Well me.." she spoke as she looked up at the older man, Santana was definitely broken from Rachel's deception.

"San, how much do you love Rachel?" Burt asked, placing one hand on Santana's shoulder.

Santana had a few more tears dripping from her face _"Dammit Burt.. How do you know what to ask?"_ she sniffled as she stood up lips quivering more "So.. Fucking much Mr. Hummel.."

"Then I think you should make her yours, take it from me Santana.. I get that what Rachel did was wrong, in the midst of it all I think you know just as well as I do that you and her are going to be together again.." Burt smiled a bit, patting Santana's head gently.

"And how do I go about that Burt?" Santana asked quietly, her eyes forming back to normal.

Burt gently nudged Santana towards the outside of the shop "Do what Santana Lopez does best.. Showing your worth." Burt spoke with excitement.

"Yes Mr. Hummel.. I will, I will show my worth!" Santana said, as she happily left the shop _"Thank you Burt.."_

* * *

The first place Santana went to was Rachel's dads house in hopes they knew where she was, she wasn't there but they gave Santana the address and the room number of Rachel's hotel, thus Santana left to go to the hotel. It took Santana a while to make it but once she did she knocked on the door of Rachel's hotel room.

"_Please Rachel.. Answer.."_ Santana continued to knock.

The door opened, it was indeed Rachel "S-San.. What are you doing here.." she asked while parting her hair behind her ears.

"I think we need to talk.. It would be fair if we did that much.." Santana lightly scratched the back of her head looking at the diva.

Rachel smiled a bit then looked down "That would be nice but.." Rachel moved slightly out of the way to reveal she wasn't alone in the room, it was the same guy from the Halloween party "I brought him along in case you turned me down again.." she painfully admitted.

Santana moved away from Rachel for a few seconds "You two haven't.. Since the party.. Have you?"

Rachel shook her head "I wanted to make myself faithful to you again.." she replied biting down on her lower lip.

Santana glared at the guy evilly "Then tell him to leave.. You want to prove that you can be faithful to me, I want you to get rid of the thing you cheated with." Santana demanded with her arms crossed.

Rachel nodded then walked to the guy to tell him to leave "Sorry but, I need you to go back to New York.. I need to spend some time with Santana, to make things right.. You understand, don't you?" she explained nervously.

The guy nodded then slowly walked past Rachel and Santana, having an angered expression on his face "Fucking dykes.." he uttered before leaving the room.

Hearing that set Santana off in the worse way possible, she was about to attack the guy before Rachel grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into the hotel room "Santana, calm down please!" she pleaded the angered Latina.

Santana growled under her breath, slowly calming down to a blush from Rachel's grip on her waist "So.. How about that talk?"

An hour later Santana fell beside Rachel, both girls naked, exhausted, sweating from what they were doing. Rachel rested part of her body on Santana's, blushing quite a bit, she was also smiling because of what they did.

"San.. That was.. Perfect.." She looked up at Santana, placing a soft kiss on her chin.

Santana looked down at Rachel, smiling slightly at her "A good portion of that was anger.. Rachel.. I can't honestly forgive you so soon for cheating on me.. What we did, as enjoyable as that was, you still cheated.." her smile went away, sighing softly.

Rachel straddled Santana's stomach, looking directly at the other woman "San.. I will literally, do anything.. Just to have you back in my life.. When I cheated.. I was broken, I was hating myself, I still hate myself, but I am happy you were willing to talk about it.." She expressed before kissing Santana softly on the lips.

Santana out of habit kissed Rachel back once "I am glad you hate yourself for it.. It tells me that you are willing to do right by me.." she smiled at Rachel while running her hands through the diva's hair.

Rachel had tears in her eyes along with a smile on her face "I love you Santana.. I'm sorry that I hurt you so badly.. No one else San.. Just you and I.." she rubbed her eyes, sobbing quietly into Santana's shoulder.

Santana ran one hand up and down Rachel's back, trying her best not to cry in front of Rachel "I love you too Rachel.. More than you will ever know." she softly spoke keeping Rachel close to her.

"_Am I wrong to make love to Rachel so soon after she cheated on me..? I guess if she is able to forgive me for my fuck up, maybe I can forgive her for hers.. Only time will tell right?"_

* * *

**A/N:** So! I was really lacking a bit of an idea for this chapter, but I think I had it progress kinda well right? I was gonna have a detailed love scene in this chapter but I figured I should have another detailed love scene in a future chapter. So, as always, you know what to do!


	8. Gold Stars Are Still My Thing

Morning hit Lima, it was a bright sunny Monday, birds were chirping, people getting ready to go to work, everything looked so peaceful. Mrs. Lopez was making breakfast for Santana to eat before school, the Lopez household filled with the aroma of spices and the gracious scent of crisp bacon. Santana's mom finished cooking then walked up the stairs to see Santana hugging her pillow, talking in her sleep.

"N-No Rachel.. I forgive you.. Yes I will marry you.." Santana smiled in her sleep, quietly giggling for some unknown reason "No Rache.. That tickles.."

Mrs. Lopez gently tip toed over by Santana's bed leaned over to do what looked to be whispering. "How about you... WAKE UP!" she yelled in her daughters ear which alerted her awake.

Santana rolling off the bed "Oh god what happened!?" panicked the younger Lopez, she looked over at her mom whom was cackling at her.

"Mija you're going to be late for school if you don't wake up on time, take a shower and get some decent clothes on, I made breakfast for you downstairs, I am driving you to school today since I took the afternoon shift at the Walmart today." she explained as she walked downstairs to serve a plate for her and her daughter.

"What the fuck.. I should be in a hotel room.." Santana, confused as to why she was home, and why she was going to school and not work "Unless.." she pinched her arm, tightening the grip of her fingers til it hurt "Ow, ow okay I am not dreaming. I am awake and am still in high school." her eyes widened with a bit of a smile "That means either what happened in my dreams never happened.. Or they may happen depending on if I do something to stop it.."

Within 30 minutes Santana was clean, dressed and downstairs eating her food, faster than before as she was trying to figure out if her dream was a vision for something. Mrs. Lopez gently swatted Santana's hand trying to make sure Santana didn't choke on any food.

"I understand you're a growing young woman, but if you don't ease up you will cause more harm than good." Mrs. Lopez stated obviously, walking away from the table to get her purse ready. "Did you do your history homework? Ms. Corcoran called me last night saying you haven't been turning your work in."

Santana smiled over at her mom "I wanted to make sure I got it done before I turned it in.. Artie helped me out a couple nights ago." she expressed standing up walking towards her backpack.

"Oh by the way, how are he and Brittany doing?" Mrs. Lopez asked walking back in the kitchen.

Santana raised a brow then suddenly she started remembering more of her reality and less of her lengthy dream. "Uhm.. According to Britt, they are doing great, so far they haven't gotten into anymore arguments. Can uh.. Can we get going now mom?"

"Of course dear." the older Lopez replied with a smile on her face.

* * *

Santana was walking down the halls of McKinley looking for a specific someone, whom she found in the form of Finn Hudson.

"Frakenteen, did I do anything completely wrong within the past week?" Santana asked curiously, biting on her lip due to how nervous she is.

"Uhm.. I honestly stopped caring about who you spend your weekends with just as long as you were careful during." Finn replied nervously before walking away.

Santana was overwhelmed with excitement, she had no burdens to bare, the events of what she did were just a dream. _"Yes! Fuck yes! Snix didn't fuck me over!"_ she happily marched in place before walking to her locker, realizing that Rachel's locker was across from hers.

Rachel was looking into her locker, rearranging it from things she idolized to her dream location to live in, New York. She made sure to set her stack of gold star stickers in the door area of her locker, Rachel then looked at her phone checking her to-do list for the day "I thought I had a dentist appointment.. Oh that's next Monday.." she spoke to herself reassuring what she had planned.

Santana couldn't help but admire the girl across the hallway from her, mostly because of her dream she found a hidden appreciation in Rachel Berry, Santana bit her lip and slowly walked over to Rachel, gently tapping on the diva's shoulder. "Berry." she calmly called out.

Rachel nervously turned to Santana "Oh, hey Santana.. Uh what is it you need?" she parted some of her hair behind her ear nervously, giving Santana a gentle gaze.

Santana smiled at Rachel, softly chuckling to herself "You look beautiful today, I just wanted to be the first person other than you and your dads, to tell you this." she nodded slowly, looking at how Rachel was dressed, which was really no different than what she normally wears.

"San, I wear the same style all the time, how is it today of all days I look beautiful?" She asked with a blush on her face, feeling a tad more nervous than before.

Santana took a few moments to think about it but focused her attention towards Rachel "I guess, something hit me.. It taught me to love and cherish the people around me a bit more, because I never know when things can make a turn for the worse." she softly explained before reaching out to Rachel for a hug. "Come on, hug your favorite Latina." Santana said as she gently wiggled her fingers followed with shaking her hips from left to right.

Rachel rolled her eyes as she leaned in for a hug, gently moving her arms around Santana's chest "That made my day better San.. Thank you for the compliment." a tear fell from Rachel's cheek as she smiled "For that, I am gonna give you a gold star, yes I still am into those." she admitted before turning herself to grab one of her sheets of gold star stickers "Where do you want it?"

"One on my cheek, and one more on yours." Santana requested with a brighter smile on her face. Rachel slowly placed the sticker on Santana's cheek then placed one on her cheek. "Now we match, and I have a golden area to kiss." the Latina winked at the diva before walking away.

* * *

Later that day Rachel was dancing in the auditorium, trying to get more practice on her routine before nationals, it was one of the few things on her mind, the other two being New York, and Santana's compliment.

"_You look beautiful today.."_ Rachel breathed in and out smiling at those specific words, she hummed a melody to go along with her dancing. She jumped up doing a twist, then landed on one foot, having complete balance within her steps and her twirls. _"I find it so strange.. Santana is never nice to me, yet she called me the perfect compliment a girl could ask for. I know it shouldn't mean all that much coming from another girl but with Santana.. It's something different.. In all fairness I wasn't always that nice to her either.."_

Rachel thinking to herself about the moments her and Santana had shared in the past, not many moments were good, they were either arguing with each other or not paying attention to one another.

One comment Rachel remembered clearly was when Santana was trashing Rachel's talent, and Rachel dropped a pipebomb upon Santana _"The only job you will end up getting is working on a pole!"_ the diva flinched at the comment _"Wow.. That is one of the few times I felt badass.."_

After 15 minutes of constant practicing of choreography Rachel walked to the piano, started to do vocal range tests starting from the lowest key of the piano to the highest, matching each pitch with sheer perfection.

"_What did you tell her!" Santana yelled out at Finn._

"_I just told Rachel how great I thought you did.." he calmly replied._

"_Uh-huh sure you did.." Santana barked fiercely._

"_Santana, he literally just told me that you were great." Rachel said in defense of her boyfriend._

"_Shut it man-hands!" the Latina adverted her aggression towards Rachel._

"_Santana I really did think you were-" Finn tried to explain but got interrupted._

"_Liar!" CRACK! Santana slapped Finn, to the point his face was red with Santana's hand print._

Rachel sighed a bit giggling softly at that memory _"God, it's so weird how much people change over little time.. Finn is back with Quinn.. Santana, strangely enough is a nice person now. Come to think of it, seeing how much passion she had with being a lesbian.. To the point where she would have done something like that to anyone who crossed her because of it, is rather endearing.."_ she blushed while admitting her admiration in her head.

Santana slowly walked into the auditorium, watching as Rachel was working hard on perfecting her talents, it warmed her heart as to how hard Rachel works. Santana walked down the auditorium, her eyes getting more adjusted towards Rachel's body, once she got onto the stage, she gently tapped Rachel on the shoulder.

"Yo, Berry.. Can we talk?" Santana tilted her head innocently "By the way, you don't need to practice so much, you're great on your own." she further complimented before sitting at the edge of the stage.

Rachel joined her, blushing more at the compliment _"Okay Santana, what is your deal.."_ Rachel sat close to Santana, observing the Latina carefully "So.. What's up?" she asked with a smile.

"Rachel, I have had a very.. Very fucked up dream.. It heavily involved you." Santana confessed "It uh.. I was mentally damaged from an injury I took, and I was blind to my surroundings, and.. I raped you." She continued to explain, hearing the rape part made Rachel flinch. "You were helping me be better later that week, we ended up being together and moving to New York... And you cheated on me with someone at a Halloween party.." Santana softly chuckling towards the end of her explanation. "You tried to make it up with.. Some sweet.. Oh god!.. Sweet sex.." she leaned towards Rachel, placing her hands on the diva's shoulders.

Rachel's face lit up a bit, she grab a hold of one of Santana's hands "W-What else happened in the dream?" she softly asked, gently rubbing hers.

Santana smiled a bit more "You proposed to me.. And I said yes.." she held on to Rachel's and slightly "I happily said yes.. One thing that remained true to my dream.. You're still beautiful even outside my dream." Santana lightly bit her lower lip with a smile.

"So.. You're nice to me now because your dream taught you how to be more nice to others?" Rachel asked, slowly hopping off the stage, looking up at the young Latina.

"I guess so, but specifically you.. For some reason I feel that if I don't end our school year with us close.. That I will regret it for the rest of my life." Santana hopped off moving closer to Rachel, keeping a calm blush upon her face.

Rachel smiled at Santana as she gently placed her finger on Santana's cheek, right where the gold star was, she leaned up and kissed her cheek close to the gold star. "Thank you Santana, I know it wasn't easy to tell me your dream, I appreciate that of you.. I'll see you around." she uttered before leaving the room, leaving Santana with one hand upon her cheek.

"Y-Yeah.."

* * *

Santana spent the rest of her day, feeling warm from Rachel's _friendly_ kiss. She was going on an evening jog, trying to piece together what all happened in her dream, trying to pinpoint the good moments, for some reason it was the one thing that made Santana consider being with Rachel.

"Am I in love with Rachel Berry?" she softly asked herself before her phone buzzed, it was a text from Puck_ "Hey San, I got some girls here, one of them is into some sweet lady lips. Wanna get drunk and partake in what I call the Puckerman's 4th meal?"_ seeing this text almost made Santana fall forward in laughter, she tucked her phone back in her pocket and walked towards a hill to gaze at the stars in the sky. She lightly touched her cheek and smiled brightly, feeling the gold star that Rachel placed on her cheek. "I think they are starting to become my thing too.." she said to herself, unknown to the fact that Rachel was right behind her.

"H-Hi San." Rachel greeted as she held on to Santana's hand gently "How did you know I come over here?" she asked biting her lip.

"Honestly, I had no clue Rache.. I just wanted to come up here and think about my dream.. And the kiss you gave me on the cheek.." Santana explained then turned towards Rachel "What did that kiss mean? Was it just a friendly kiss? Or did you want more out of.. Whatever we are?"

Rachel was speechless for a few moments, she didn't expect Santana to ask her such a question. To be frank, Rachel didn't have an answer for Santana, she honestly could not tell her what it meant. But she had to be honest about it "I don't know what it meant, but I liked the contact.. More than anything." her face lighting up at the thought of their encounter earlier that day.

Santana slowly moved up close to Rachel, their faces close to each other "Would you like some more contacting?" a smirk was seen on Santana's face as she lightly touched Rachel's lips with her own.

Rachel's eyes widened from their lips touching, her mind racing as to what she should do _"I'm not.. I-I'm not.."_ she was nervous for a few seconds, her blush calmed down as she began to kiss Santana, wrapping her arms around the waist of the other girl. _"I'm not gonna let this perfect kiss go to waste.."_

Santana's tongue lashing against Rachel's softly, carefully positioning Rachel over a bench, laying her down as she pushed deeper into the kiss, causing Rachel to moan quietly.

"S-Santana.." Rachel was able to say in the midst of their kissing.

"Yes Rachel?" Santana slowly stopped the kiss, keeping her nose lightly touching Rachel's.

Rachel wrapped her arms around Santana's neck, keeping a slight smile on her face "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Santana bit her lip holding in her excitement, it was the 5 words that she has been hoping to hear that entire day. "Yes Rachel.. Of course, I will be your girlfriend.." she happily nodded, Santana stood up with Rachel against her, placing one more kiss on her lips "You're staying the night with me." Santana had a hold of Rachel's hands and started walking with her.

Rachel rolled her eyes and smiled "No sex Santana, make out sessions with clothes on only." she demanded as they rushed to get to Santana's house.

"_A dream that felt like reality.. It can fuck with your head or it can be the thing that motivates you for the better. My dream.. The only thing I could call it was.. Crazy.. But my reality.. That is something special."_

"_San.. It's better than special, feeling that I am not sure exists just yet."_

"_Then what would you call it Rache?"_

"_Love.."_

* * *

**A/N:** What? Did you really expect me to want to make a full fledged story based around a tragic thing Santana did? That's only part 1 daddy-o! You can say that "Crazy" is done, now here comes the "Sensitive" part. Much props to snowdrop1026 for the review that actually inspired this chapter, I hope to bring in the romance portion a bit more now. As always, you know what to do!


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